Tag: pregnancy

All posts related to pregnancy and post-pregnancy.

Survival Guide for Parents with a New Baby

Survival Guide for Parents with a New Baby

You just had a baby or adopted a newborn. Congratulations! This is a momentous occasion and a life-changing event. You may have anticipated the bonding experiences with your baby, those quiet moments of cuddling and cooing, singing and playing. The first time he or she smiles or laughs will warm your heart.

All babies are unique. Some are mellow little cherubs content to eat, sleep, and snuggle with very little fussing. Others may be more of a handful, perhaps due to a more sensitive nature or physical challenges like reflux. Still others can make the first month or so a nightmare, with unconsolable crying for hours on end, barely sleeping for longer than 45 minutes, or being awake for hours during the night.

The first two months, though filled with lovely and wonderful moments, can also be quite difficult for parents. Here is my practical guide for surviving these tough times. If you are new to motherhood or fatherhood, this survival guide will help! (Dads, there is a special note at the bottom just for you.)

1. Sleep!

I know, I know. Everyone tells you about the importance of sleep and to “sleep when baby sleeps”. You are probably thinking right now: “Sure, it is easy to say but I can’t sleep when baby sleeps or nothing would get done.”

Perhaps baby is nursing every hour or you have to pump on a rigid schedule. Maybe just when you close your eyes to rest, the baby starts fussing or your older children demand attention. Maybe baby has finally fallen asleep but it is almost time for dinner and all of your dishes are dirty in the sink. I know how you feel. I have been there. 

But let me also remind you of something you already know: sleep is vital to our physical and mental health. Two to three hours a night, broken up into ten minutes here and twenty minutes there, is not sufficient sleep. The days and weeks after childbirth are already challenging, but if you do not get enough rest, you may unintentionally contribute to postpartum depression.

I was there. I experienced this with my second child. We had an extremely fussy/needy newborn and an 18-month-old who was teething at the same time.

The sleep deprivation contributed to my own postpartum depression, which did not resolve itself until about five and a half weeks postpartum when baby was finally sleeping for two to four hours stretches so I could sleep, too. I was too prideful to admit that I had a sleep problem. I was determined to fix it on my own, but I needed to ask for help. My husband was a lifesaver. He would watch the kids while I napped or drop the toddler off at his parents for the afternoon.

To be able to function, you need to consistently get 5 or more hours of sleep within a twenty-four hour period of time. Have your spouse watch the baby while you take a nap. Ask family to come over to watch the baby. Do what you have to do to get some sleep.

2. Eat healthy and eat often.

With the craziness that a newborn brings, you might find yourself skipping a meal here and there or grabbing a less-than-nutritious snack instead. If it only happens on a rare occasion, you are probably fine, but this can cause problems if it becomes a common occurrence.

You just had a baby so your body is in recovery and you may be breastfeeding as well. Your body needs proper nutrition to fuel recovery and to make the milk your baby needs. If you skip too many meals, your daily caloric intake may drop too low too fast. This can negatively impact your milk production and might even contribute to health problems for you.

Make sure you eat well-balanced meals throughout the day.

You may find that you need to eat a little less but more frequently (like when you were pregnant). Even if you do not feel hungry, eat something healthy. (Oats are good for you and aid in milk production!) Or maybe you have discovered that you have a ravenous appetite and you are afraid you will either gain more weight or not lose the baby weight so you are trying to put yourself on a diet.

Firstly, it is too soon to go on a diet. Your body is already going through so many changes right now, don’t make it have to work even harder. Secondly, if you are breastfeeding, some women find that they have to have a little extra weight to maintain a healthy milk supply. (I am one of them.) Thirdly, it took nine months to gain the weight, allow yourself at least a year to lose it.

If you eat healthy, snack healthy, and do moderate exercise on a daily basis, you will gradually slim down.

3. Shower at least every other day, but everyday if possible.

You may find yourself hyper-focused on caring for the new baby’s needs that you neglect your own most basic needs. Showering not only keeps you clean, but it can help you relax and deal with stress. Find the time to take a shower.

Whether it is in the early morning before the baby wakes up, mid-morning when your mom or sister or best friend comes over to watch the baby, the middle of the afternoon when baby is napping, after your husband comes home from work in the evening, or late at night right before bed. The when does not matter. Just do it. You will be glad you did!

Perhaps you are alone. Maybe you are a single parent, your spouse works long hours or is away from home for days at a time, or you have no family nearby to help. Maybe baby is crying hysterically even though s/he has been fed, burped, and changed.

My advice is to put baby down in a safe place (crib, bassinet, rock ‘n play, etc.) and take a quick five or ten minute shower. Hard though it may be to listen to, it is okay for a baby to cry a little. It is better for baby to cry in a safe place for five to ten minutes while you take a much needed emotional break then for you to become overwhelmed and, perhaps, lose your temper.

4. Understand that some housework won’t get done for awhile.

Dishes may pile up in the sink, toilets may not get cleaned for a week or two, vacuuming may go undone, clothes might pile up in the basket. And it is okay!

If you gave birth, remember that you just gave birth to a human being! Not only do you now have this precious little bundle to care for, but you are also physically recovering from a very physically demanding and sometimes traumatizing event. In the immediate days and weeks after childbirth, your body will be flooded with various hormones as your body shifts from pregnancy-mode to post-pregnancy-mode.

You will be bonding with your newborn, experiencing your milk coming in, figuring out breastfeeding via nursing or pumping, possibly figuring out bottle-feeding, barely sleeping, and so much more. Your body is going through many changes (not all visible) and this can wreck havoc on your emotions.

If you have adopted a baby, you now have this precious little bundle to care for and many of the baby-related things I mention above also apply to you! Bonding with your newborn, figuring out feeding, barely sleeping, emotional rollercoasters, etc. It is okay if the house is not spotless.

5. Ask for help!

Bottom line, Mamas, you have a lot to cope with in the first two months. And if you have older children, it will be that much harder as you navigate caring for your baby and your old children, too. So give yourself grace. Focus on what is most important: your child(ren) are fed, clean, and loved and you also are fed, clean, and rested.

If the mess really bothers you and causes stress or anxiety or you cannot get enough sleep or you need a break, ask for help. From your spouse, your parents, your siblings, your friends, your neighbors. Do not allow your pride to cause you to suffer in silence. It is not good for you, not good for baby, and not good for your family.

Be specific in what you ask for: please watch the baby while I do dishes, can you make us a meal, would you be able to clean the bathrooms, can you babysit the older child(ren) for two hours, etc.

 

Remember, you are amazing! You gave birth or adopted this precious little one. The first two months can be heavenly if you have a more mellow child, very challenging if you have a fussy newborn, or anywhere in between.

Sometimes your newborn maybe quite contented and then, suddenly, s/he cries hysterically. Go through the checklist first: fed, burped, changed, held; and repeat if necessary. Most babies cry for a reason, but it might be hard to pinpoint the exact reason in the heat of the moment. It is okay to feel confused and overwhelmed.

You may or may not know that many babies become more fussy during growth spurts (physical and developmental). After all, baby’s main job during his or her first year is to grow, grow, grow! These growth spurts tend to happen between Weeks 1-3, Weeks 6-8, three months, six months, and nine months. (But all babies are different so yours might hit a growth spurt sooner or later.)

If you are still not sure what is going on with your baby or concerned about a symptom (perhaps excessive spit up, unconsolable crying for hours every day), ask your pediatrician.

As my mom always said, “Motherhood is hard enough on its own, don’t make it even harder on yourself.”

Some women experience a beautiful, storybook newborn stage, and that is wonderful. However, many of us will face challenges, often outside our control, and we have to navigate those challenges carefully.

Do not expect every newborn to be the same. Just because your first was an angel who slept through the night within a week and hardly ever cried, does not mean your second will be the same, and vice versa. Do not compare yourself with other moms or your baby with other babies. Take advice — from people, books, and the internet — with a grain of salt. Do what feels right to you, but always keep your baby’s health in mind.

And, above all, remember that God chose you to be this precious child’s mother. Trust your instincts. If something feels off with you or the baby, get help. You do not have to be superwoman. You do not have to do this alone.

And if you need help, do not think any less of yourself or think you are a failure if you cannot do things perfectly. The fact that you recognized your need and sought the right solution (whatever it may be) means that you are absolutely amazing.

Yes, you are AMAZING.

 

Side note to fathers:

Dads, your wife just had a baby. Were you present during her labor and delivery? If so then you realize just how physically demanding giving birth is, and the recovery time can be weeks or even months, depending on her unique situation. If not, just take my word for it.

If you are the kind of guy who normally helps out around the house, then you are already ahead of the game. I want to thank you on your wife’s behalf for being awesome. Keep doing what you are doing and know that you might have to do a little extra for awhile until your wife is feeling better.

If you are not used to helping and have always relied on your wife to maintain the house, then we need to have a little chat. Your wife just had a baby. (I know I already said that, but it needs to be said again.) Her body is recovering. She will be uncomfortable, exhausted, and might even experience pain. She might have difficulty doing things she normally can do. Her emotions might be on a rollercoaster of highs and lows, she is also severely sleep deprived, and if you have older children, she will probably be even more exhausted.

Now is the time for you to step up and be her hero.

Make a meal (it does not have to be fancy), tidy up the kitchen, throw in a load of laundry, watch the crying baby for an hour or two while your wife naps, anything that you can do, now is the time to do it. Sure, you may have no clue what you are doing but you are smart, you can figure it out. And don’t do it for the recognition, do it because you love your wife and you want to help her recovery.

 

To recap: sleep, eat healthy, shower, don’t fret over housework, and ask for help when you need it. This is my survival guide for parents with a new baby. If you are a mom or dad, what tips helped you survive the first two months? Share your experiences in the comments below!

New Beginnings: Our Birth Story, Baby #2

New Beginnings: Our Birth Story, Baby #2

It has been seven weeks since our second son, I am calling him Pickle here, arrived into this world. He was born Tuesday, February 6, 2018, at 8:43am. He was 6 lbs 10 oz and 18 inches long.

For those interested, this is our birth story.

During the two weeks leading up to his birth, I was experiencing prodromal labor, or more simply put very real contractions that would not progress. Some days it would last for a handful of hours, other days it lasted all day long. Sometimes the contractions were mild and other times they were fairly strong. However, every time I thought: “Hey, we might be getting close…” the contractions would either slow or stop completely.

At our last check in with my doctor, she suggested we give Pickle the weekend to decide if he would come on his own and, if not, schedule to be induced early that next week. By this time, I was exhausted and agreed. So the induction was scheduled for 8am on February 6th, which happened to be my younger sister’s birthday. We went home and made all of the plans we needed to make. My in-laws were going to come over to watch our son, and my parents were going to meet us at the hospital.

Everything seemed all nice and neat, but I was praying all weekend long that Pickle would still come on his own. I tried whatever I could to encourage him. I bounced on the exercise ball, I raked our front yard, I did housework… Monday I really thought he would come. The contractions were more intense but never stayed at 5 minute intervals for a full hour. When I went to bed, the contractions stopped altogether. That night I had the best sleep I had had for quite a long while.

Proud Dada with our second son!
Proud Dada with our second son the day after he was born.

I awoke suddenly the next morning and happened to be checking the time when the first powerful contraction hit. The clock said 5:43am. I slipped out of bed, suspecting it might be labor, and decided to hop in the shower very quickly. It was the fastest shower I have ever taken in my life and I had two more contractions while in there. It was clear these contractions were only about 2-3 minutes apart and growing in intensity. I woke Bradley up and told him we needed to get to the hospital. Since we were already scheduled to go to the hospital that morning, he asked: “How long do we have?”

“We need to get there as fast as we can,” I told him. He jumped in the shower while I called my parents. Then I dressed and he called his parents. We did not have time to wait for the in-laws to get to our house so we decided to take our son with us to the hospital and they could pick up him there. We grabbed the hospital go bag, loaded up the car, and were on the road. The contractions were getting stronger each time. Thank the Lord, the hospital is only five minutes down the road from our house. Bradley stayed in the car with our son, as he was sleeping, and I went inside to check in.

A very short time later, I was in the triage room getting ready for the initial examination. Bradley joined me there and, though my water had not yet broken, I was in active labor. The nurse helped me into a wheelchair and I was whisked off to a labor/delivery room. My parents were able to join us there. It was nice to have my mom there. Like with my first, I decided to labor without pain medicine, but since Pickle was bigger, it was a little harder. I also had quite a bit of back labor that made pushing more of a challenge. In that moment, I completely understood why most women get pain medicine and even epidurals. I was a bit dehydrated since we had come directly after jumping out of bed, and I had the worst uncontrollable shakes the entire time. (I did not have that with Peanut!)

Exactly three hours after I felt the first contraction, Baby Van Sant (Pickle) was born! He was immediately laid on my chest and we snuggled for quite awhile. During my labor and delivery, the hospital’s computer system went down so the staff had to chart everything old school. That meant we were able to stay in the L/D room a lot longer than usual before being moved up to the recovery ward. My older sister, who was working that day in the Emergency Department, stopped by for a quick visit. After such a fast and intense experience, it was nice to relax. I ended up with a second degree tear and quite a few stitches and even just the thought of the wheelchair ride was painful.

Proud Mama holding our little Pickle.
Proud Mama holding our little Pickle before we were discharged from the hospital.

Eventually we were moved upstairs to a nice private room. My parents helped us settle in, gave me some food to eat, and then left to let us bond with Pickle and rest. The peaceful atmosphere did not last long. The nurse came in to help me use the bathroom and check my postpartum bleeding. I passed a rather large clot and the volume of blood was enough to concern the nurse. She brought her supervisor in to have a look and they decided to call my doctor back to the hospital. (Her office is, fortunately, two minutes down the road.) By now, both Bradley and I were getting worried.

My doctor arrived quickly and proceeded with a physical exam. It was the worst pain I had ever felt in my entire life… and mind you, I birthed two babies without even a tiny bit of pain medicine. I remember screaming and crying. It was decided that the best course of action was to send me to surgery, be put under local anesthetic, and have a full examination to find the source of the excessive bleeding. Though the word was never mentioned by anyone, the first thing that comes to mind when you hear about postpartum bleeding is hemorrhaging and that is often life-threatening.

In tears, I grabbed Bradley’s hand and asked him to call my parents. He did and then called his parents to let them know what was happening. Then he held my hand and said a prayer. Pickle was taken to the nursery.

Peanut being introduced to his new baby brother.
Peanut being introduced to his new baby brother. He kept shouting: “Baby! Hi, Baby!”

I was helped into a wheelchair (yet again) and wheeled back downstairs. It was all very surreal as the doors to the surgery ward opened and I saw the medical team waiting for me. Everyone was very nice, friendly, and smiling but at the same time there was a certain quickness to their actions and words that was serious. Bradley gave me a kiss and then I was taken into the operating room. I admit, I had many thoughts flash through my mind, some of which went like this: “Dear Lord, I don’t want to die. I’m not ready and I cannot leave Bradley to raise Peanut and Pickle on his own.”

I was given a local anesthetic that numbed me from the waist down (aka epidural!) but left a tingling in both feet. It is the weirdest sensation, and once I was lying on the table in that very cold room, the uncontrollable shakes returned. The team was very professional and nice. Someone got me a ton of warm towels and covered me thoroughly from the waist up. Besides the shakes, which had my teeth chattering badly and my arms flopping around, it was actually quite pleasant to be all wrapped up in those warm towels. I could feel the examination but it was a very light pressure and there was absolutely no pain. I am not sure if they ever found the source of the excessive bleeding. I do know the doctor removed something from my uterus, put a few stitches in my cervix, and re-stitched the outside some as well.

When it was all said and done, I was taken to a temporary recovery room for the anesthetic to wear off. Bradley, my parents, and my older sister rushed in as soon as they were allowed to. I know I was a little out of it… Kind of loopy and having a slightly hard time pronouncing my words. I was just relieved to be out of surgery and praying everything was alright. My dad said: “Don’t you ever do that again!” And my older sister was quite upset at me, too.

In that moment, I knew, looking at the mixture of worry and relief on Bradley’s solemn face that this experience was terrifying for the both of us. Praise the Lord, nothing serious was wrong but it easily could have been. I was glad to be taken back upstairs and reunited with our little Pickle.

Pickle… our most beautiful and amazing little gift from God. Our wonderful blessing, born on his aunt’s birthday.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:13-14, ESV

 

New Beginnings: Our Birth Story

Baby #2 Pregnancy Update: Week 37, 38, or 39?

Baby #2 Pregnancy Update: Week 37, 38, or 39?

With all of the false contractions I have been experiencing this last week, this very well might be our last pregnancy update.

How far along: 37 or 38 or 39 Weeks

Sooooo… As I may have mentioned previously, we were originally given the due date of January 28th, which would make our little Pickle 39 weeks as of now. At our first ultrasound, the tech discovered he was measuring a little small so the doctors decided to push back the due date to February 10th, which would make him now 37 weeks. That is a two week difference, and when it comes to fetal development, that is a huge difference.

Then at our doctor’s appointment yesterday, she mentioned that the ultrasound office had put down in my file “38 weeks” after our most recent two ultrasounds.

*sigh* Apparently, no one can agree with how far along we are. We could be 37, 38, or 39 weeks. I’m going to go with the middle and just say 38 weeks. I have been 1cm dilated and 50% efaced for a week now with no further progress, so — as long as there are no sudden changes — it looks like we just might have another week to go before our little Pickle decides to arrive.

Size of baby: 5 lbs at last ultrasound so he is, hopefully, about 5.5 lbs now. After taking our first son’s lower birth weight (4 lbs 11 oz) also into consideration, the doctors determined that it is probably genetic: we just make smaller babies. But in a society where “average” babies are now being born in the 8-10 lb range, I am more than happy to have smaller babies! I, myself, was around 6 lbs when I was born.

Movement: Except for the hour or so in the middle afternoon when he is napping, this little Pickle seems to be moving all of the time. He especially loves to kick and stretch as his home is getting rather cramped for him. At my last check in, he had already shifted and was in launch position: head down.

Sleep: Much, much better! I think part of it is because he has shifted down so the pressure on my diaphragm and organs have been relieved some, allowing me to breathe easier. Another reason is that we splurged on a memory foam mattress topper for our bed. It supports the belly so nicely when I lie on my left side and removed quite a few pressure points, allowing me to sleep much better with less aches and pains.

Workouts: None. I am not supposed to be doing anything strenuous — not even walking — but I still do more than I should just helping to get the kids’ room ready, the regular chores around the house, and going into work.

Maternity clothes: I am literally wearing my largest pants (jeans) and pairing them with the nicest shirts I can for work, and I change into lounging clothes when I get home. Comfort is the only thing that matters at this point.

Symptoms: Pretty much every single normal late pregnancy symptom that I missed on out experiencing with my first, including muscle and joint aches, Braxton Hicks/false contractions, false labor, bloating, gas, swelling of feet/ankles, tingling in legs below the knees, pain in the right hip upon standing, frequent trips to the bathroom, fatigue, etc.

Cravings/Aversions: Now that Pickle has shifted down and I can eat more than tiny meals (like just a bowl of cereal), I find myself ravenous, especially at dinner. No real cravings, just hungry! The batch of strawberries we just picked up are amazingly delicious, especially with some coconut yogurt (diary-free), but my husband has said the same thing so I would not could that as a craving. Well, I might be craving popcorn, but I have not given in yet because when I eat too much corn, I end up with a headache.

Missing most: Being able to walk and move without pain and being able to play with Peanut again.

Preparing for baby: We just need to re-assemble the bassinet that he will sleep in and find that bin with all of the newborn clothes…

Cannot wait for: Pickle to come!

Baby #2 Pregnancy Update: 35 Weeks

Baby #2 Pregnancy Update: 35 Weeks

Now that the holidays are over, you would expect things to slow down around here but that is not the case. We have officially reached 35 weeks with Baby #2 (we will call him “Pickle” today and see how it feels), and there is still quite a bit to do to prepare for his arrival. Also, at our appointment yesterday, my doctor seemed a little concerned he might come early and wants to prepare for that possibilty.

How far along: 35 Weeks

Size of baby: Pretty big, I would say, but that is just me. We’ll know more after our next ultrasound. (Scheduled for this week!) My belly has expanded quite a bit in the last two weeks, but I am right on target for maternal weight gain at 25 lbs.

Movement: He is definitely a mover and a shaker! It seems that the only time I have a little relief from his physical acrobatics is for a few hours mid-afternoon when he must be napping.

Sleep: I admit that sleep is quite a struggle right now, partially due to Pickle’s propensity for movement throughout the night and partially because even lying on my side leaves my body extremely achy. A pillow between the knees helps sometimes, but for a few nights now, I had to move to the couch so I could sleep in a more upright position. The last three nights, though, I have been falling unusually asleep early while putting Peanut to bed and am so out-of-it that my husband could not wake me up when he tried. Not so sure that is a good thing…

Workouts: Ha! Sadly, I have given up on routine exercise. I do try to walk a little, I take the stairs down (not up anymore), and I try to stand every now and then for a little bit while at work. I am in a bit of an awkward situation: I want to do more exercise but I also do not want to encourage Pickle to come too early. Peanut was two weeks early, and I was on bedrest for the week leading up to his birth.

Maternity clothes: Sadly, due to some weight gain in the thighs and derriere some of my work slacks are now a bit too snug to wear comfortably. I’m wearing my bigger maternity jeans more and more now.

Symptoms: Muscle soreness, joint aches, tightening of the abs, random pains here and there, tiredness… I would say I’m experiencing the usual late pregnancy symptoms. Fortunately, I did not experience any feet or ankle swelling until yesterday, and that was probably due to a number of factors (high sodium dinner the night before, a ton of extra walking in the few days before, and not putting my feet up at work like I usually do). Still, I will need to take it easy from now on.

Cravings/Aversions: Though I usually do not have a taste for sweets or chocolate, because of the recent holidays, we made cookies and chocolate fudge. While I did fairly well with being moderate in my cookie consumption, I found myself sneaking extra bites of the fudge when no one was looking.

To be fair, due to my food allergies and plant-based diet, I have not eaten fudge for almost eight years! But this holiday, I wanted fudge and found a vegan recipe that was amazingly delicious and so fudge-y. Even my non-vegan relatives and co-workers who tried it had no idea it wasn’t “normal” fudge and were asking for the recipe. I will share it on the blog later this week.

Missing most: Breathing when bending over, lifting my 15-month-old without straining, sleeping through the night without being kicked or waking due to various pains, and being all-around more physically active.

Preparing for baby: We are getting a toddler bed for Peanut so we can begin the transition from crib to big boy bed now, before the new baby comes. This also means we have to get the boys’ room done in the next week and a half! Since we have limited storage space, I also want to go through all of our baby clothes and keep only the ones we are going to use. We’ll also need to pack a hospital bag, confirm arrangements for Peanut, and get the bassinet assembled again. I should also get out the breast pump and make sure all of the parts are whole, sanitized, and do not need replacing. So much to do!

Cannot wait for: the arrival of our sweet little boy!

I am kind of hoping he will be a little early, because I would love a January baby. We do not have any January birthdays among our close family and there are already two birthdays in February.

Baby #2 Pregnancy Update: 30 Weeks

Baby #2 Pregnancy Update: 30 Weeks

It has been quite awhile since my last pregnancy update. Time sure does fly. We had a very busy November and now we are already at 30 weeks (if the updated due date is accurate).

Jacquelyn Van Sant at 30 weeks pregnant and 14-month-old son at Thanksgiving 2017.
This photo was taken at almost 29 weeks with our 14-month-old son “Peanut” at Thanksgiving 2017.

How far along: 30 Weeks

Size of baby: I’m actually not sure exactly because our next doctor’s appointment is this Friday. They say that an average baby would be about 15-inches long and almost 3 pounds around this time. I do know that usually, from this point on, the baby will grow about half a pound a week.

Movement: This little fellow is extremely active throughout the day and night. His preferred position is definitely long-ways right above my hips. (Like last time, I’m carrying low.) Often when sitting down, my belly rolls like ocean waves as he moves and shifts. He also seems to love kicking the right side of my belly, which gets sore more often than the left.

Sleep: My sleep has been disrupted for a number of reasons lately and not all pregnancy related. We do have an active 14-month-old who has had some difficult nights. Some nights I’m so exhausted that I seem to pass out. Fortunately, when it comes to positions, sleep has gotten a little easier and my body is not aching as much as it was a few weeks ago.

Workouts: I do my usual daily activities and lift/carry a somewhat heavy 14-month-old all the time. I do try to do the kegel exercises and side leg lifts daily, and I have been doing quite a bit more walking the last couple weeks.

Maternity clothes: My stomach is now officially larger than it was when Peanut was born at 38 weeks, and some of my maternity clothes are no longer fitting properly around my expanding tummy. My husband was nice enough to buy me a new pair of jeans in a larger size and a few skirts so I can be comfortable again. Well, as comfortable as possible.

Symptoms: There for awhile, I was experiencing quite a bit of muscle soreness and body aches. This last week the aches and pains pretty much went away. However, earlier this morning I experienced a somewhat painful Braxton Hicks contraction (I’m guessing) that lasted approximately 10-11 minutes. It is like my whole lower belly tightened and would not “release” for over 10 minutes. I was almost in tears.

Needless to say, it was a little concerning, and I am trying to drink more water just in case I am dehydrated. I’ll also mention it to my doctor at the appointment this Friday.

Cravings/Aversions: No cravings to report. As for aversions, rice and beans (which I usually love) have not been sounding good to me so I’m eating more potato, quinoa, and lentils than I usually do. Not sure I am getting enough protein, though. I need to work harder on that this week.

Missing most: Definitely being able to bend over without severe pain and pressure. It is also getting harder to breathe in certain sitting positions, too.

Preparing for baby: We pretty much have all of the clothes, accessories, and items we will need for another baby boy. We have continued to (slowly) work on purging and re-organizing the entire house, both to make it more toddler friendly for our son and also to help elevate the stress of clutter for when Baby #2 arrives.

Cannot wait for: the arrival of our sweet little boy!

I am starting to really feel tired of being pregnant. This pregnancy has been harder than my first. I am much bigger in the stomach, more uncomfortable, and my metabolism does not seem to be working as fast as last time either. I know others have it much worse than I do so I try really hard not to complain and to just carry on “as usual”. But some days I’m so wiped out that I collapse on the couch after work and can barely do basic things like make dinner, wash dishes, or play with Peanut.

Is it bad that I’m praying this one comes early like his big brother did? (Just without the worry that accompanied Peanut’s tiny size!) However, it is all worth it to be able to welcome our new son either at the end of January or beginning of February!

I’m still hunting for the perfect pseudonym for Baby #2 to use here on the blog. Since I call our first son Peanut, I was thinking about continuing with the “P” trend or maybe the food theme or maybe both. Pancake, Pumpkin, Pickle… Any suggestions?

Baby #2 Pregnancy Update: 24 Weeks

Baby #2 Pregnancy Update: 24 Weeks

As you may have noticed from the eleven posts tagged Baby #1, I did not track our first pregnancy weekly or even monthly. Likewise, this time with Baby #2, I’m also not flooding the blog with frequent pregnancy updates. You can call it a desire for privacy, too much busyness, or just plain laziness on my part. After all, I only just announced our second pregnancy last month!

All that aside, I figured it might be worthwhile to do a pregnancy update.

How far along: 24 Weeks

Size of baby: At our most recent ultrasound (last month) , the baby weighed about 13 ounces. At our monthly check in with the doctor last week, my belly/uterus was measuring exactly 23 inches. Various pregnancy sites claim the average 24 week baby is about the length of an ear of corn and the size of a cantaloupe while the uterus is about the size of a soccer ball! Now that I think about it, I do feel like I am carrying around a soccer ball…

So far I have gained 15 pounds since conception, but I actually lost a pound between the ultrasound appointment and the doctor’s appointment.

Gender: Since we have already shared with all of our family and friends, I might as well spread the exciting news. We are having another boy! For now, I think I’ll continue referring to him as Baby #2 until I find a nice pseudonym.

Movement: This little fellow is extremely active… far more so than our Peanut was, and I thought he kicked a lot. Baby #2 is almost always moving around. In fact, as I type this he is kicking me.

Sleep: It can be a challenge to find a comfortable position even with extra pillows, and some nights I toss and turn a lot. I tend to get up about two times a night, but one of those is because Peanut wakes up hungry. When I do get comfortable, I usually sleep fairly well. The last few nights, though, I have barely been able to fall asleep despite being very tired and it is not a deep, restful sleep.

Workouts: I have not been exercising consistently this pregnancy, but I have been trying to do a little more physical activity lately. A few days a week, I climb the four flights of stairs to my office, and this last weekend, we went camping so I did a lot of walking, standing, lifting, etc. It felt really good actually. I should do more pelvic floor exercises, too.

Maternity clothes: I am still comfortably wearing most of my maternity clothes from the first time, though one of my favorite maternity pants I had to put away because the stretchy band put pressure on the underside of my expanding belly at just the right spot while sitting at my desk to cause pain. (That did not happen the first time, so I know my belly size/shape/position is different this time around. It is definitely more protruding.)

Symptoms: I tend to be quite tired in the evenings after a long day at work, and sometimes if I sit too long I have a hard time getting back up. (That is caused by a combination of the pregnancy and an old rollerblading accident to my tailbone.) I do have more muscle pain this time around, especially in the abs and sides. Other than that, though, I seem to be doing pretty ok. I usually can move and walk normally, unless I do something ridiculous like trip on an uneven sidewalk.

Cravings/Aversions: Just like with our first, I have not really had any cravings, per se. Earlier on my sense of smell was heightened and many things that I would not have been able to smell before or did not seem strong before would make me retch. I haven’t noticed that heightened sense of smell in the last week, though.

Missing most: It is a tie between sleeping on my stomach (I’m a stomach sleeper!) and being able to bend over without the pressure of a protruding belly.

Preparing for baby: We are making progress very slowly. We need to move quite a bit out of the “nursery” (aka the boys’ room) and do a complete re-arranging. Peanut is now walking and I want him to be able to start playing in the room without me having to stand there watching over him.

The bassinet is dismantled and under the bed in our master bedroom. It can be easily re-assembled in the week or two before Baby #2 is born. The new baby will be with us in our room for probably the first five months, and then Peanut will transition to a real bed and Baby #2 will get the crib. So we have quite a bit of time to work out all the room details.

Cannot wait for: Seeing and holding our little bundle of joy! It is amazing watching Peanut grow, and I cannot wait to see how he interacts with his little brother.

Well, that is it for this pregnancy update. I think I’ll aim to do a monthly update from here on out. If you have had multiple children, how did your pregnancies differ from each other?

The idea of a heavenly home

The idea of a heavenly home

The title of this blog is A Heavenly Home, and I chose this name because of the hope and inspiration that it gives. If we are all honest with ourselves, I am certain that each one of us desires to have a warm, loving home that resembles a small piece of heaven on earth.

In our hectic, busy modern world, such an ideal home environment can seem hard — maybe even impossible — to achieve. Sometimes our best laid plans go awry or life circumstances force us to be flexible in ways we had not intended.

Our home is no different.

Is our house always tidy? No.

Do we have more clutter than we should? Yes.

Do we always put away our clean laundry? No.

Do dishes sometimes pile up in the sink? Yes.

Does our home look like a glossy magazine spread or a bright photo op on a fancy home blog? Absolutely not.

At the moment, I work full time outside the home with some freelancing on the side while my husband stays home with our one-year-old son. This was not our original plan, but it is where we find ourselves at this time. My amazing husband keeps our household running by not only caring for our son but also taking on a large share of domestic duties, including but not limited to laundry, vacuuming, tidying, yard work, taking care of the aging dog, etc. I appreciate everything he does so I try to pitch in and ease his burdens when I can.

We had a fairly good system working for us before we discovered I was pregnant with Baby #2 back in May and the first trimester all-day-every-day sickness struck. Around the same time, our little Peanut began to teethe… badly. Everything quickly dissolved into barely manageable chaos. For a little while there, it was a struggle. Then we realized that stage of our life was merely temporary, and it was ok to let the less important things slide for awhile.

Do not misunderstand. I do believe having a clean and tidy home tends to make the home more inviting and is more nurturing for those who live there.

However, the physical house is only part of what makes a home feel like a little bit of heaven on earth. To create a home that is a welcomed retreat from the cares of the outside world, warm and inviting, you need more than simply clean rooms.

A heavenly home is built on love, courtesy towards those who live with you, quality time spent together, and laughter.

My natural tendency at times would be to stare at the three days’ worth of dirty dishes piled up in the sink and feel like a failure for being too exhausted (and sick!) to do them. There were times I had to remind myself: “At this moment, cuddling with my little son who is crying for “Mama” because a new tooth is working its painful way through his gum is far more important than some dirty dishes.”

When times became challenging, we chose to focus on what is most important. For our little family it was spending time together as a couple, spending time with our son, and doing what was best for our health. For me that also meant extra sleep!

Since then, things have begun to even out again. (Praise the Lord!) I am no longer feeling sick, and my energy has returned to normal. We are now in a place where we have a handle on the weekly housekeeping duties again and can also re-start some of the projects we had to put on hold for those couple of months, such as what I like to call “the big purge”. (More on this later.)

A clean house is important for physical health and a tidy house is good for mental health, but never forget that what truly transforms a house into a home is the people who live there and the atmosphere you cultivate.

“By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” Proverbs 2:3-4, ESV

Our home and family is built on the love of Christ. If we keep Christ as our focus and His love in our hearts, everything else falls into its proper place. Our home becomes a warm, inviting, nurturing place full of the most important riches: love, selfless service, and grace. We know what is most important and are able to be flexible when circumstances change.

Over the next few weeks, I hope to explore a little bit more into the idea of a heavenly home and share some of our plans for improvement.

Join the discussion

What does your home look like? What does a heavenly home mean to you? In what areas do you need improvement?

Peanut is getting a promotion…

Peanut is getting a promotion…

About two weeks ago, our little Peanut celebrated his 1st birthday. He is not really a little Peanut anymore. He is such a big boy now in many ways. He wants to feed himself, he is playing with toys more intentionally, he will find his favorite books for us read, and he loves to talk! (Sometimes it is words we can recognize!) He even took his first steps last week all on his own!

We actually had to postpone his 1st birthday party because he came down with his very first cold, which caused an ear infection. Poor little guy! In the end, he unintentionally gave his cold to me, both of his grandmothers, and even one grandfather and his dad had a few days where they were a little under the weather (though not nearly as sick as his grandmas and I were!).

Around the same time we were celebrating Peanut’s birthday, we also began sharing the news that he is getting a promotion to big brother!

Yes, that is right. We are having another little one!

The due date is still a little up in the air. We originally thought it was around January 28, 2018, but a recent ultrasound may suggest closer to February 10th. However, Baby #2 was not very cooperative during the scan so the tech was unable to get the full measurements that they like to have. We are going back in a few weeks for another try. I do not mind one way or another, because as I learned with Peanut, babies come when babies are ready to come.

So we could be anywhere between 18 and 20 weeks along, but I am showing much earlier with this pregnancy. (To be honest, this time around I feel and look huge.) Granted, this pregnancy has been extremely different from our first. With Peanut, I had the occasional nausea and some fatigue during the first trimester. This time I was sick all day long, from the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep, for a little over three months! The fatigue and aches and pains have been a bit challenging, as well.

Fortunately, I have been doing much better the last three or so weeks. I have gotten a lot of my energy back and am starting to exercise again. Nothing strenuous, but I need to get into decent shape to prepare for Baby #2’s arrival. I lost some weight during the first trimester when I could barely eat anything, but now I feel like I’m gaining a little too quickly. I’m already at the weight I was when Peanut was born! (To be fair, he was only 4 pounds 11 ounces at birth.)

So I’m gradually increasing the number of times I climb the stairs as work (I’m on the fourth floor), trying to walk more (I want to get back to a mile a day), and standing at my desk more (alternating that with propping my feet up!). I think these small changes will help.

We do know the gender of Baby #2, but I will save that announcement for next time.

If you have had multiple pregnancies, how have your pregnancies differed? What was similar between them?

8 Things I learned from childbirth

8 Things I learned from childbirth

Just as every woman and every baby are unique, every pregnancy and childbirth are also unique experiences and not always comparable. I was very fortunate to have a relatively easy and smooth pregnancy. My little Peanut came two weeks early and fast. (From the time my water broke to his birth was about two and a half hours).

As a first time mother, I thought I would share some of the things that I learn from the labor, delivery, and recovery on the off chance that it might help another first time mother. Let’s jump right on in.

1. Take a birth prep class.

If you are a first time mother and nervous or anxious about labor and delivery, I highly recommend taking a childbirth prep class. At first, I was skeptical. I thought I could just read up and ask my mom, older sister, and friends who recently had children any questions. But as my son’s due date came closer, I realized that I had no idea what to do when labor started or what the actual delivery would be like. So I signed myself and my husband up for a birth prep class offered at the hospital where we would deliver. We had a great nurse instructor and any little fears and doubts that were creeping into my mind were put to rest.

When the course was finished, I felt calmer and better prepared. I also learned a few techniques that made the final few weeks of pregnancy easier to manage — like sitting on an exercise ball. Believe me, it works!

Another benefit of a birthing class, especially if you take one offered by the hospital or birthing center where you are planning to deliver, is that the instructor will be able to tell you what that hospital/center prefers to do in different situations, how they handle emergencies, what techniques they approve or disapprove of, their statistics and numbers, etc. As part of the class we took, we were also given a guided tour of the labor and delivery floor and the recovery floor.

2. The importance of a good support person/people.

I cannot stress the importance of a very good support person and/or team. When active labor began very suddenly as I was waiting in the triage room for the nurse to confirm my water had broken so I could be admitted, everything I had read and learned at the prep class completely slipped my mind. Breathing techniques? Out the window. Labor positions? Gone. I was completely blown away by the intensity and frequency of the contractions.

Unlike many women, I didn’t get a gradual progression of labor and time to mentally prepare. I went from absolutely no contractions to strong, 1-minute-apart active labor contractions in a matter of minutes. Everything happened so fast that by the time I walked to the delivery room and set up, I was so dilated that I was passed the point where they allow the administration of pain medicine so I birthed our son au naturale, or as my dad later said “frontier style”.

I am so grateful that my amazing husband went with me to those classes, and he remembered everything. He was an awesome support person. He stayed with me the whole time, 98% of it holding my hand, encouraging me, gently reminding me to breathe. I remember, in the middle of full labor, opening my eyes, looking up at him, and saying: “I love you!” and he gave me a kiss and said: “You got this, babe. You’re doing great!”

So a good support person — whether it is your husband, mother, sister, doula, or whoever — is very important! Because they help you through the labor and delivery, they need to be very encouraging, understand your wants and needs, and be your voice/advocate with the paperwork and answering questions.

3. The importance of having a good medical team.

Whether you give birth at a hospital, birthing center, or at home, it is important to have a good medical team. Doctor, nurses, midwives… whomever you decide to assist you.

I had the most amazing team of nurses. Truly, they were phenomenal. They were very encouraging and guided me with my breathing and vocalizations. When I decided (very early on) that I was most comfortable lying flat on my back with both legs up, bent at the knee with my shins parallel to the floor, two of the nurses actually stood there holding my legs for me. I had my eyes closed almost the entire team to help me focus on the contractions so I have no idea what my nurses looked like but I still remember their wonderful voices. We actually had double the number of nurses as our little Peanut was born around shift-change, so the night shift nurses arrived but the day shift nurses did not want to leave until he was born.

I also had a great doctor. She actually wasn’t my regular doctor (my doctor was off that weekend) so I actually met her during the delivery. Since I progressed so fast, she barely had time to arrive and get ready before I was actively pushing. But she was great! She was both very professional and very nice. Our little Peanut was born small for a full term baby at 4 pounds 11 ounces, and the last two weeks of the pregnancy, the ultrasound had showed he was small so we were under stricter monitoring just in case something was wrong. Our son was delivered relatively easily, but there were some issues with the placenta.

Actually, to be honest, “delivering” the placenta hurt far worse than delivering my son because it was stuck. The doctor had to press on my stomach and also reach in and scoop it out. She showed me the placenta afterward and discovered a small anomaly (the umbilical cord was grown in the placenta in an odd way), which is most likely the reason our son was smaller than he should have been. Towards the last bit of the pregnancy, after the baby is fully developed but when s/he is supposed to gain some weight, our son was not getting quite all the nutrients he needed to put on the weight. So he was perfectly proportioned, symmetrical, and very strong (he lifted his head up from my chest and stared right into my face just minutes after birth!) but small and super skinny.

Anyway, the doctor was great. I am so grateful that she was on duty that day.

4. Do not worry about modesty.

I am an extremely modest person, but when you are in full labor pushing out a baby or afterwards in recovery, modesty is not a top priority. There are so many people assisting you, checking on you and the baby, encouraging skin-to-skin and breastfeeding, and even helping you use the bathroom. Yes, after childbirth, just using the bathroom is a huge and exhausting ordeal! I was also mesmerized by the amazing little bundle snuggled on my chest. Sure, you want to be decent when visitors come by, but it is okay to not stress about modesty when it is just you, the baby, and your medical team.

5. Pack a few important items but don’t stress the hospital go bag.

I was so uncertain what to pack in our hospital “go” bag. I read dozens of lists online and read tons of suggestions, and I finally settled on a change of clothes for myself and my husband, two coming home outfits for our son (neither fit because he was born premie size and all we had were newborn!), snacks for my husband in case labor was long (it wasn’t!), and some basic toiletries for me. I have sensitive skin so though the hospital provided soap for the shower, I wanted my own soap and shampoo.

What I forgot that we really needed was a receiving blanket. You see, even though my doctor had said he could come at any time, I thought we had at the very least another week. As a result, our “go” bag was not finished. I am just grateful that I listened to the Holy Spirit’s whisper that Saturday morning to throw the not-quite-finished “go” bag in the car before we left for church, or we would have not had anything when my water broke later that afternoon!

One more thing: I brought a cheap but comfortable nightgown to wear when visitors came to the recovery room. Silly me, I did not get one that opens in the front so I had to take it all the way off when pumping and trying to breastfeed. (Our little Peanut couldn’t breastfeed so I started pumping in the hospital.) As a result, I only wore it once and stuck with the regular hospital gowns the rest of the time.

Which leads me right into the next tip…

6. Rock the hospital chic!

After you give birth, you will most likely be given these amazing (some say hideous) mesh-like panties that are designed for comfort and to hold these huge diaper-like pads. Some women hate these mesh panties and diaper pads. I loved them. They are so comfortable, and I must say, after pushing out a baby and tearing a little (I had to have three stitches), I care more about comfort than fashion. I joked about “rocking the hospital chic” with my husband and actually asked for extra mesh panties and diaper pads to take home. I made those mesh panties last for two weeks post-birth! I was actually very sad when I threw the last pair away and was tempted to find a medical supply site to order more, but I found that my normal undies where suitably comfortable at that point.

7. Ask lots of questions.

Don’t be shy. Ask lots of questions and let the staff demonstrate things you might be unsure about. Never changed a newborn’s diaper before? Ask the nurse to do the first one and watch how it is done. Ask if you can watch when your little one gets his or her first “bath”. Not sure if you are positioning the baby correctly to breastfeed? Ask for help.

No question is a silly one, and these individuals are trained professionals who care for newborns on a daily basis. I watched the night nurse change little Peanut’s first diaper and swaddle him. The next afternoon I watched his first “bath” (sponge bath). I asked for help from the nurses and also a lactation consultant when I discovered Peanut was not latching properly, and my husband and I asked the hospital pediatrician tons of questions.

8. Take everything the hospital/birthing center allows you to take… and ask for extras!

It depends on the hospital or birthing center, but the hospital I delivered at offered many freebies. Use them while you are there and take the extras with you when you are discharged.

There is a reason the mesh panties and diaper pads exist. You will experience bleeding and discharge after delivering your baby. There is also a reason for the peri-bottle, pain reliever spray, and witch hazel wipes for use when using the bathroom. It is to keep you clean and ease any pain in your nether-regions. When I was being discharged, they gave me a little care package that included a pack of maternity pads. I packed up the extra mesh panties, diaper pads, peri-bottle, pain reliever spray, witch hazel wipes that I had not used and also the free pump parts that would work on the pump my parents were buying for me that very day. I also asked for extra mesh panties, maternity pads, ready-to-go formula, and disposable slow flow nipples for our son and the staff happily gave them to us.

Basically, everything that I could take home, I did and I am so glad! It made the first days at home easier because we did not have to worry about rushing to the store for pain reliever spray or more pads or formula for the baby.

These are eight things I learned from my experience giving birth to my son, and I hope it might be useful to other first time mothers out there. These may or may not be applicable to every woman’s situation, but I had fun recording my experience. After all, if it is in the Lord’s plans for our little family, we decide to have another child in the future.

New Beginnings: Our Birth Story, Baby #1

New Beginnings: Our Birth Story, Baby #1

Our adorable little firstborn son, we shall call him Peanut for now, was born Saturday, August 27, 2016, at 6:18pm. He was 4 lbs 11 oz and 16 inches long.

For those interested, this is our birth story.

The morning I would give birth to my little one. All dressed and ready for church! Where is the bump?!

The day was August 27, 2016, and it was a Saturday. I woke up feeling really good and decided to wear my favorite dress to church that morning. I loved this dressed because not only was it super comfortable, but from the front and back my pregnant belly was completely invisible. It was kind of fun to surprise people by turning sideways! Anyway, after church, we were planning to go to Bradley’s cousin’s house for a special Sabbath lunch since pretty much his mother’s entire side of the family (the Walkers) were in town visiting. I’m so glad Bradley took a few pictures!

Turning sideways and suddenly the bump can be seen!

We were still two weeks away from our little one’s due date and, though the doctor had said that he was super low at a check up a few days before, I was not feeling any Braxton hicks or contractions at all. We even had a no-stress test the day before to monitor baby’s heart beat and movements because he was on the small side and needed extra monitoring. According to the print out, there were no contractions during the hour long test either, and it was an interesting session. The baby was sleeping (he usually slept at that time), but they needed to get him moving. So eventually, after trying cold water and apple juice, the technician had to use a buzzer to wake him up.

Oh, my! The moment the buzzer buzzer on my belly, it was like watching a tsunami! The baby lurched away from the buzzer. It was surreal.

Back to August 27th… At the very last minute before leaving the house, I felt an impression of the Holy Spirit to grab our half-packed hospital to go bag. We had not finished packing it as I really thought we had a few more days, but there were some snacks in there for Bradley and personal care items in there for me. When I asked Bradley to grab the bag, he asked I I was feeling anything. “Nope, but just in case, I feel like we should have it with us.” So into the trunk it went!

We arrived at church, greeted friends and family, and took our seats. I began getting a little uncomfortable in the middle of the worship service. Baby had settled really, really low but still no signs that we were quickly approaching the big event. After church we chatted with a few friends and then hurried off to the cousin’s house. We arrived just in time to load up our plates with haystacks! (For those unfamiliar with the term, haystacks is the Adventist version of a gigantic tostado or taco salad. Learn more here.) I opted for a large salad and was so ravenous that I actually went back for a second salad.

After we ate, we all gathered around their television as Bradley’s uncle shared a video slideshow of family reunions that Bradley’s great-uncle had put together and mailed to each family unit shortly before he passed away. Everyone was reminiscing on the years gone by, and it was a very warm and happy atmosphere. The slideshow ended and I felt something a little odd way down deep inside. I shifted a little on the barstool I was sitting on, and felt an internal tug or pop.

So I excused myself to the bathroom. As I was stepping into the bathroom, I felt a rush of liquid. Fortunately, for the last month or two, I worn panty liners everyday. Sure enough, there was a lot of clear liquid, tinged a little pink. I cleaned up, rushed to my phone, and rushed back to the bathroom. I think only Bradley noticed. Back in the bathroom, I began texting my older sister. She is an ER nurse and has had four children herself. She confirmed that my waters broke and that we needed to “Get to the hospital right now!”

I left the bathroom and walked over to Bradley. I quietly whispered: “I think my water broke. I think we need to go to the hospital.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. I glanced at my sister’s text and nodded.

“Yes, Jenni says to go to the hospital right now.”

Bradley turned and announced to the full house of family: “Hey, everyone! It looks like we are off to the hospital!”

We rushed out, followed closely by Bradley’s parents, and drove the five minutes to the hospital. As we pulled into the Labor and Delivery circle, where parents can leave their vehicles until after checking in, I felt the first contraction. As I slipped out of the car, I felt a second stronger contraction. We walked in and I felt a little silly walking in so calmly.

“Hi, I think my waters broke.” I said very calmly to the lady at the check in desk. She signed us in (which went very fast as we had pre-registered with the hospital) and we were escorted to a triage room. The labor and delivery floor seemed very quiet. A nurse stepped in and gave me a hospital gown to change into and a bag to put my clothes in. As I changed, I felt the waters leak all over the floor. I apologized, embarrassed, and the nurse laughed.

“It is alright. Happens all the time.” Then she got a sample of the fluids just to confirm that my waters did, indeed, break. As I was laying on the examine bed, the contractions began to increase in intensity and the spacing between them dramatically decreased.

By the time the nurse returned to say that I was being officially admitted, I was in labor. Bradley and the nurse helped me walk from the triage room to the delivery room (a short distance down the hall) because I wanted to try to do it unmedicated and they encourage walking. By the time I was in the room, painful contractions were only 60 seconds apart. I sat on a birthing ball while two nurses put in a thingy on the back of my hand (to hook up IVs or whatnot should that be needed later).

A few minutes later, another nurse checked to see how far along I was and said: “Honey, it is a good thing you wanted to do this without pain medicine. You are passed the point where we can administer any medicine. You are doing this.”

I admit that there was a moment of sheer panic. In my mind, I cried I take it all back! I don’t want to do this anymore! I may have even verbally cried: “I want my mom!” who, unfortunately, was at a church retreat two hours away! Then I buckled down. I can do this! I told myself. I can do this! Women have been giving birth since Eve. If they can, I can, too! Oh, God, please help me!

And so Peanut was born “frontier-style” (as my dad said). No pain medicine. No epidurals.

 

The Van Sant Newborn
Baby Van Sant, aka Peanut, shortly after birth. Daddy not only cut the umbilical cord but also put on his first diaper!

Labor was unbelievably fast: from my water breaking to his arrival was only about two and a half to three hours.

My husband Bradley was amazing through it all, holding my hand, coaching my breathing, encouraging me, and giving me kisses. We had the most amazing team of nurses. I had my eyes closed pretty much the entire time, but I remember their voices. They were phenomenal! The doctor, who was close by, barely had time to arrive, put on her scrubs and get ready before I was pushing. Right around the time Peanut was on his way into the world, it was shift change so the night nurses joined us but the day shift nurses did not want to leave before seeing him born so they stayed with us, too.

Daddy holding Baby Peanut.
A proud Daddy holding his son.

Birthing a child is the most painful thing in the entire world. There is truly nothing that I know of that can compare to that level of pain, but intermixed with the pain was this calm thought that my body was specially designed to be able to do this most amazing thing. The entire body instinctively does as its Creator designed, and I remember hearing the nurses tell me to do what my body tells me to do.

So I did.

It is truly a surreal experience. My mom was absolutely right: it was worth every moment of pain to, with that one final, super long full-body, deep down push (the most intense “work out” in the entire world), feel him slide into the world, hear him cry, and have him laid on my chest by the doctor. Then all the pain, though still there, is completely drowned by the flood of love and joy.

Mommy holding baby.
A proud Mommy in awe at her beautiful little one.

Peanut… our most beautiful and amazing little gift from God. Our surprise Sabbath blessing.

I believe Hannah said in best in her prayer of thanksgiving: “For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him.” 1 Samuel 1:27, ESV

New Beginnings: Our Birth Story, Part 2